Saturday May 15th, 2021 5:03PM

Send your pet to clown college

By Alyson Shields Reporter
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Some of us are cursed with chronic overthinking. We take every tiny detail of something and pick it apart like we’re carving a turkey. I just can’t help myself. Once I start thinking about something, it’s stuck there for a little while.

This was the case recently when I was glued to something that stressed me out. Naturally, I stressed myself out even more by thinking about it obsessively. I needed to pull away from this thought. I turned to my boyfriend, who returned with, “Try to take your mind off it. Think about Smidge going to clown school or something.”

MY Smidge!? This mental image was too much of a delight to handle. In clown school!? I burst out laughing.

We joked about Smidge getting cranky with a kid because she couldn’t have one of the turkey sandwiches at whatever backyard birthday party she was hired to perform at. Smidge is getting better at ignoring strange children we meet in public, but she’s still learning how to be sweet as pie to those with the swift moves and wandering little hands. She’ll take treats from them and smell their shoes, and now she doesn’t bark when they go by, unless they have a toy with big, plastic wheels.

So imagine Smidge at a child’s birthday party, in a little clown wig and a red nose. Here, I illustrated my own version for you. Imagine Smidge in her little get up and juggling on a unicycle. Imagine her tossing a banana creme pie at the supervising adult, much to the uproarious laughter from the crowd of children, so she could snatch a turkey sandwich and squeeze into the tiniest Chihuahua-sized clown car, making a slow getaway down the neighborhood street.

Can you picture it?

Good. Now take a mental image of your pet, send them to clown college, and have a moment of worrying a little less.

  • Associated Tags: Reigning Cats and Dogs
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