Monday May 17th, 2021 9:30PM

Nurse Cairo helps the only way he knows how

By Alyson Shields Reporter
I’m not getting any younger. My metabolism is probably slowing down and I still like to eat sugar-garbage as my number one treat. I don’t want to be unhealthy or become unhappy with my appearance, so naturally, an exercise regimen is key.
I’ve tried the gym route and the at home route. I’ve found a comfortable spot with a short run to one end of my neighborhood and then a long walk to the other, followed by a few reps of light weights during Netflix time. I also walk Smidge every day, which is good for both of us.
Saturday I prepared to hit the pavement and… I hit it. I hit my knees, my hip and planted both hands after I tripped on a crack in the sidewalk. I am not proud to announce I screamed twice, walked home crying and bleeding, and then cried more as I assessed the damage. It was gross and more importantly, it hurt!
I live in a home with stairs so you can imagine my joy hobbling up them with a seriously banged up knee and my left hand a little shocked. I peeled off my running tights and sat on the edge of the tub, preparing to wash my wound, well, if I could get in it. 
While I sat there and sniffled at my ill fortune, the slow locomotive of a purring cat entered the bathroom. Cairo knew I was hurting and he was about to try every trick he knew to make me feel better.
The Nurse Cairo Method is as follows:
  1. Purr as loud as possible, so loud you can be heard from another room
  2. Slink towards patient with tail gracefully inquiring about symptoms
  3. Begin triage. Start by rubbing face all over patient and near affected area.
  4. Next triage step jump into lap if patient is seated. If not, roll over on floor to expose belly.
  5. Final triage step. Sandpaper kisses.
No, I did not let Nurse Cairo get past Step 4, and I tried very hard to keep his face from touchy my bloody knee. The last thing I want is cat hair getting stuck in my wound! It’s bad enough getting in your eye or tickling your nose.
However, cat’s purring has been shown to be a healing agent. Cats themselves will use purring to heal themselves if they don’t feel well – so if you notice your cat is purring out of normal range and is purring a lot, a vet trip may be in order – but the purring range of 25 and 150 Hertz can actually be beneficial to humans too. Scientific America said there’s a possibility that purring helps stimulate muscles and bones in cats without using a ton of energy, and since they tend to sleep a lot, that would make sense. It also might help humans out, they said.
Cats also purr when stressed, assumably to calm themselves, and of course, just for pleasure’s sake.
While I know Nurse Cairo is not an RN, he has no medical training, and is not strong enough for CPR or the Heimlich Manuever, I will always appreciate his attempts to make me feel better after an injury, physical or otherwise.
Maybe while I’m recovering from this grungy knee, I’ll teach him to walk on a leash to get my exercise in.
  • Associated Tags: Reigning Cats and Dogs
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