As someone who owns multiple shirts that decree themselves as a certain type of pets' mother, I do not actually consider myself a mother. I'm not expecting any gifts from my pets for Mother's Day, as I already pretended on my birthday that they bought me gifts and I don't need to get super weird again.
But you know what? Everybody could use a little gifty right now, especially the mama's out there. Here are Smidge and Cairo's suggestions:
- loud licking sound in the middle of the night
- cold bagel top with bite out of it
- chewed up notepad
- flattened stuffing from old dog toy
- thin film of crumbs left in food bowl
- a potter's throwing wheel (wait, how did you get that?)
- a piece of cardboard cut into a rectangle, but not a perfect rectangle
- just spend her whole day off farting every time you're in her lap
- dangerously crafted homemade candle with dusty seashells at the bottom
- a reverse boop from pet to hooman
- a card made from computer paper with traced paw prints on the front
- hilarious pet costume that creates a pun
- ballie
- dramatic interpretation of a biblical story, but read in dog or cat so it makes no sense
- rub eye boogers on the sofa
- a delightful walk with minimal thrashing or vocal projections at other animals
- mug from Etsy
- actually, more than 10 mugs from Etsy
- Target gift card.
Wait. Yeah, that's it. Target gift card.
P.S.: Mother's Day is Sunday, May 10!
