Thursday March 28th, 2024 4:31AM

What to get for Mother's Day, Smidge and Cairo style

As someone who owns multiple shirts that decree themselves as a certain type of pets' mother, I do not actually consider myself a mother. I'm not expecting any gifts from my pets for Mother's Day, as I already pretended on my birthday that they bought me gifts and I don't need to get super weird again.

But you know what? Everybody could use a little gifty right now, especially the mama's out there. Here are Smidge and Cairo's suggestions:

  • loud licking sound in the middle of the night
  • cold bagel top with bite out of it
  • chewed up notepad
  • flattened stuffing from old dog toy
  • thin film of crumbs left in food bowl
  • a potter's throwing wheel (wait, how did you get that?)
  • a piece of cardboard cut into a rectangle, but not a perfect rectangle
  • just spend her whole day off farting every time you're in her lap
  • dangerously crafted homemade candle with dusty seashells at the bottom
  • a reverse boop from pet to hooman
  • a card made from computer paper with traced paw prints on the front
  • hilarious pet costume that creates a pun
  • ballie
  • dramatic interpretation of a biblical story, but read in dog or cat so it makes no sense
  • rub eye boogers on the sofa
  • a delightful walk with minimal thrashing or vocal projections at other animals
  • mug from Etsy
  • actually, more than 10 mugs from Etsy
  • Target gift card.

Wait. Yeah, that's it. Target gift card.

P.S.: Mother's Day is Sunday, May 10!

  • Associated Tags: Reigning Cats and Dogs
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