Ever wonder what your dog is thinking? Let's ask Smidge about the COVID-19 pandemic...
SCENE: Alyson is leashing up Smidge, her Chihuahua for their daily walk. Despite some struggles with other dogs, Smidge has been very polite during the shelter-in-place time and even made a human friend.
"Pandemic, like sauce pan? Like food?"
No, babe, sorry.
"Huh."
I got you a new plush toy.
"GIMME!" *attempts to destroy*
Ok no, like, maybe when we get back, ok?
*SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK*
Hey, hey, hey, let's go on a walk.
"Okay, okay. I really like social distancing."
I thought you would.
"Yeah everybody thinks I'm super good and then I go nuts when they get near me. I teach 'em a lesson alright!"
Smidge that's not really different than any other walk.
"I mean, no, but it's a bonus because the government SAYS we can.."
You are staying pretty... PAW-sitive.
"Mother, no."
But aren't you glad that I checked a shelter before we went... in place?
"There are other dogs here and they can hear you."
No they can't I'm wearing a super cool and very safe mask.
"No, no, none of those things are true."
Ok, the mask is... weird. But I'm wearing it. And you're lucky you don't have to!
"You know what else is lucky? I'm not the one pooping at the front door, like someone who is having a hard time with all the people out and about, nor am I considering also pooping on the floor."
I mean... yes. But that doesn't make it better because someone is still pooping there.
"He can't help it, it's just a cat thing. Gotta get rid of him now."
Smidge...
"Only joking! But hey, don't forget to wash your paws before you serve us dinner."
Ew, of course.
"Now feed me, human."
~SCENE~
Important note: Smidge cannot talk, at least not like this. I made it all up.
