I think we do Father’s Day wrong. Don’t misunderstand me. I think Father’s Day is a lovely sentiment. The Good Book says we should honor our father and mother. I know that means more than just buying a card, dropping by for a visit, or making a phone call one day out of the year. But I still think it is good that we take time to be more intentional than we usually are in respecting our parental units.
When I was growing up — or making my attempt at it — Father’s Day was low key compared to Mother’s Day. On Mother’s Day there were plenty of roses, cards (homemade until I was about 13) and awkward gifts given in love. I once gave my mom a set of earrings from the drug store that had to be the ugliest ever made. But the love in which they were given made then pretty enough to wear to church. Mom was a good sport about those things. They were truly ugly. Correction: they are ugly. Going through her belongings after she passed, I found them once again. I was equally touched and embarrassed. Of course, I was five when I gave them to her, so give me a break on taste.
Father’s Day was a bit more relaxed. My dad was a quiet man with a reassuring smile. He was a true example of slow and steady. My mom called it being “deliberate.” I wasn’t sure whether that was a slight or a compliment at the time. Based on the times I’ve let my actions outrun my common sense to less-that-storybook endings, I now know it was a compliment.
For Dad on Father’s Day it was Sunday dinner — nothing unusual as my mom cooked a big Sunday dinner every week — a nice card (again handmade) and usually another tie. I’m not sure he needed so many. I’m not sure any dad needed as many as he acquired. He only wore them to church or, being in law enforcement, when he had to make a court appearance. The rest of the time he wore green khaki pants and a matching shirt while hunting bootleggers in the woods. I’m not sure what kind of tie you would wear with that outfit, but I’m guessing it would be a clip-on and involve camo.
Like Mom, Dad was gracious and grateful concerning the gifts. He just didn’t gush. It was usually a smile and a “thank you” upon opening the card and the box.
It wouldn’t be until I became a father that I understood that it wasn’t about the card or the box. It was about the someone — or someones in our case — who gave the gifts.
That’s why I think we do Father’s Day wrong. And by we, I mean dads in general and me in particular.
The real gift here is that fact that I’m a father in the first place. That’s the flip side of this hit single and it’s a chart-topper too.
I have never known a more rewarding challenge than Fatherhood. There’s nothing like it. What other pursuit allows you to wear stomach fluid as a fashion statement. They tell you to pack extra clothes for the baby when you go somewhere because accidents will happen. They don’t tell you that you will be the recipient of many of those accidents and you should throw in a change of clothes for yourself too.
To be fair, we’re usually responsible for some of the accidents we wear as fathers. I remember one time when my infant daughter hurled while I was holding her. It just shot out of her in a beautiful arc that spanned about four feet. It was impressive. That is until it hit the bedroom carpet and I was the one who had to clean it up. My fault, but how was I to know how much formula she should have. There’s no tag that says “do not overfill” and certainly no “fill to this line” indicator. But, four feet? Yeah, I’m still proud.
Birthday parties come and go, and before you know it you’ve gone through braces, horseback riding lessons, wrestling tournaments, and graduation. You wonder where the time went. Yes, there were arguments and bumpy times. Difficult discussions and growing pains for child and parent alike. We tend to forget the rocky times because they’ve been forgiven by both sides.
Fortunately, fatherhood doesn’t end when they leave home. It just changes.
All of us still love to hit the lake together, share a good meal, and travel. We still share conversation about books, movies, music, and Sponge Bob. Okay my wife joins in on all of it but the last one. We all talk about the things in life that matter most to us. We share triumphs, failures, and dreams.
I am pleased with the people our children have become and are still becoming. Considering some of the mistakes I made along the way, I marvel that they are productive adults. Thank goodness for their mother!
That’s why I think we fathers should buy cards for our spouses and children on Father’s Day. We need to let them know just how thankful we are for the gift they are to us.
And all the great memories.
Four feet! Still impressed.
