No one will ever ask me to be a commencement speaker. That’s not a complaint. Just a statement of fact and one with which I’m quite comfortable. Besides you have to have some sort of fame to get that gig. I’m talking the kind of fame that comes from actually doing something like curing a major disease, inventing something important like the Salad Shooter or starring in a sitcom.
I don’t envy those who get tapped to speak. There is a great deal of pressure on commencement speakers. You are expected to impart great knowledge and words of wisdom complete with catchy metaphors that folks just can’t forget. You know, Abe Lincoln and Mark Twain rolled together with a touch of Garrison Keeler (love his story telling). And please do it quickly so we can make our dinner reservations. Gee is that all? No worries. Admittedly it’s hard to turn down such an honor without coming off as impolite. It’s like someone complimenting your shoes and you respond “yeah, well what do you know about fashion?”
I do admit that I’ve wondered what I might say on such an occasion. Or more importantly, what I wished someone had said to me. So here goes. This is my speech to graduates given freely for use at any commencement you like just don’t ask me to deliver it.
It’s finally here: Graduation Day. You’ve worked hard and waited. If I could see your grades I could tell you which ones did the work and which ones merely waited. But it’s here nonetheless. While you were so focused on getting to this point, you may not have considered what comes next. Don’t ask me. The answer to that one is truly up to you. But here, in no particular order, is what I do know that can make discovering the answer easier and hopefully more enjoyable.
There’s nothing wrong with asking for help. There IS something wrong with NOT asking.
Give help when someone asks. We all need each other and it is part of the reason we’re here.
It’s never too late to change your life’s course. It may not be easy. But it is never too late.
Your career is part of the journey and not the destination.
If someone says “welcome to the Real World”, remind them you’ve been in it since birth.
Don’t get trapped by self doubt. But do think before you act.
The right thing may be difficult, but it’s still the right thing. In the long run, it will make your life easier.
Trust your gut. It is often smarter than your brain.
Don’t underestimate the power of good night’s sleep.
Happiness is a drawer full of clean underwear and socks…trust me.
Work hard, but play just as hard. Life is too short not to enjoy all aspects.
Good friends are more precious than gold. Remember to have them, you have to be one.
Sure, you can survive on nothing but pizza. In order to thrive you’ll need some veggies and fruit. So order the Hawaiian pizza with pineapples and peppers.
Laugh daily. It keeps you young.
You’re never too old to cry. Tears of joy or sorrow are not a sign of weakness. They’re a sign you’re strong enough to let life touch your heart.
Pray about all things…doubts…fears…decisions…and be sure to thank God daily for all your blessings.
Your mom won’t be around to kiss your boo-boos. That’s why there’s chocolate.
And finally words that are not original to my mother, but she’s the one who taught them to me:
“Never get too hungry, too tired, or too lonely. Only bad decisions will follow.”
