NBC Tuesdays . . . The Legend Continues

The fall season got underway in earnest Tuesday night on the Peacock network, a traditionally troubled ratings foray since the cancellation of "3rd Rock from the Sun." The evening's graveyard includes such recent entries as "The Mike O'Malley Show," "The Michael Richards Show," "Watching Ellie," "Emeril" and even the once unsinkable "Just Shoot Me."

Continuing in this proud tradition are two sitcoms, "Whoopi" and "Happy Family." The shows provide little whoopee and even less happy.

Whoopi Goldberg proclaimed gleefully that yes, indeed, her new sitcom is her version, her homage to the classic Britcom "Fawlty Towers." She plays Mavis Rae, a one-hit wonder as a singer, who now operates a run-down hotel in New York City. Mavis is opinionated, brash and petulant, just the kind of character you want to make a thirty minute appointment with on television, apparently. No? Her supporting cast includes a buttoned-down conservative brother and his white jive-talking new girlfriend. Then there's the Iranian handyman who yells at people who mistake him for being an Arab. "I'm PERSIAN!" seems to be the program's catchphrase.

Unlike John Cleese's brilliant farce "Towers," "Whoopi" is a muddled mess, a misguided missile of misery. The pilot didn't seem to have any single storyline with a beginning, middle or end. It was almost like watching a live re-creation of a week's worth of story from a very bad comic strip.

Here's a request to the next television star who wants to pay tribute to "Fawlty Towers." Just leave it alone. Bea Arthur and John Larroquette will agree.

And speaking of Larroquette, after the disaster that was "Whoopi," I was truly expecting something better with the pairing of John and Christine Baranski. What a waste. The only thing that elevates "Whoopi"'s star rating over "Happy Family"'s is the fact that I actually squirmed more during "Family." The basic premise is that Mom and Dad, in the pilot, discover that all their wonderful children are completely screwed up. The oldest boy is not graduating after all, and is now in a sexual relationship with the neighbor he used to portray as "The old scary monster." The younger son is engaged to a lovely girl, but he is having an affair and second thoughts, in that order.

Not once but twice, Larroquette and Baranski catch their son, at the neighbors, in his underwear, as the laugh track was cranked up so loud you'd think that it was masking an amber alert.

I turned off the TV and took a very, very long shower. I'll be a prune by sweeps week.

By Bill Wilson