Although having conversations about end-of-life topics may not be pleasant, it is extremely important. Communication increases the chance that you and your loved ones' wishes will be met should anyone become ill, incapacitated, or die. By making plans and decisions before a crisis occurs, you can place your loved ones in a position of power and knowledge. Instead of wondering what you may have wanted, your family can be sure that your wishes are respected.
Here are some strategies for starting a conversation with your loved ones about end of life decisions:
· There is no perfect time to have this conversation but it is wise to wait for a time when both are in a good mood and have the time to talk.
· It might feel more comfortable to bring up the topic indirectly by focusing on yourself your own end of life decisions. For example, "I have decided to make some important decisions should I become ill or have an accident. I am doing this to make things easier for the ones I care about. I realized I don't know what your thoughts are about this topic. Maybe we could talk about that?"
· It is much easier to talk about the importance of end-of-life decisions if you have made these decisions yourself. Use your own wishes as a way to approach specific topics or questions.
· Another approach is to bring up an example of another family member or friend who is ill or has passed away. Ask your loved one how they would want things handled if they were in that situation. Emphasize the importance of writing these wishes down to increase the chances they are followed.
· Because reactions to this topic will vary, be prepared to delay the discussion to another time. Your loved one may need time to consider this issue and not be ready for a discussion right away. Note of caution: be sure to follow up.
After you have been successful talking about end-of-life planning decisions with your family member, what do you need to do next?
· Encourage your loved one to put his wishes on paper by filling out an advance directive or other legally recognized document. Emphasize that unless his wishes are written down, health care professionals may not recognize them.
· Encourage your loved one to discuss her wishes with family members. Talking openly about her wishes now will reduce potential misunderstandings between family members in the future.
· Emphasize the need for your loved one to provide copies of his advance directive to yourself and other family members who will be involved in his care.
· Be sure any advance directive document is stored in a safe place that is known about and easily accessible by others.
· Family members also need to inform their doctor of any end-of-life decisions and provide him/her with a copy of their legal document.
Having conversations about end-of-life planning issues is never easy. Having these conversations today, however, can make the lives of those you love a little less difficult in the future.
Debbie Wilburn is County Agent/Family and Consumer Science Agent with the Hall (770)535-8290 and the Forsyth (770)887-2418 County Extension Service.
Tuesday
August 5th, 2025
12:31AM
