The government has been getting its grubby little paws into your paycheck every two weeks for the last year, and now it’s ready for you to give more.
Monday was May 17, Tax Day thanks to a coronavirus-inspired delay, and if you haven’t started making phony receipts, I hope you, at least, asked for an extension.
I filed my taxes in February because this year I somehow managed to finagle the system in such a way that I got a refund from the federal government, and I wanted Uncle Sam to give me my money back quickly.
If you are asking yourself, “What’s a refund check?” you are like millions of other Americans who wait until the last minute to file your tax return because you owe money. If you don’t believe me, just ask any accountant, if you can find one who isn’t exhausted and passed out somewhere after working 22 hours a day helping all these folks who waited until the last minute.
I wish the whole system was easier. I mean, Uncle Sam gets a part of my salary every other week. Why doesn’t he just take what he’s entitled to then and leave me alone in April?
But no, after a year of tax withholding from your paycheck, the IRS now wants you to fill out a bunch of complicated forms that make college calculus look like simple addition.
I’m convinced the frustration of the forms and the madness of having to write another check is what pushes so many people to lie on their taxes. George Washington never told a lie, but then he never had to file a Form 1040.
“Do you know why they call it the 1040 Form?” a friend asked me last week.
I didn’t.
“That’s because for every $50 you earn, you get $10 and the government gets $40.”
Actually – and I've said this before – the IRS really just needs to create a four-line 1040 form.
Line 1: How much money did you earn last year?
Line 2: How much tax was withheld?
Line 3: How much money is left over?
Line 4: Send it to us.
Fortunately, my taxes have seldom been overly complicated, so I usually do them myself, although it often feels like a do-it-yourself mugging.
The concept of “taxation without representation” was a great one on which to build the American Revolution. But Patrick Henry ought to come back and see what a mess “taxation with representation” has wrought.
For most of my life, I’ve heard Congress talking about simplifying the tax code so that everyone could easily understand it. But instead, it seems to only get more complicated.
Of course, Congress hasn’t done anything about Social Security, immigration or the budget in years, either, which is why Congress now has the same approval rating as hemorrhoids.
A friend, frustrated by the lack of action in Congress on some issues a few months back, went on a rant against Washington and at one point referred to congressmen as “cheap politicians.”
“Au contraire,” I shot back. “Given the amount of taxes you’re sending to Washington, the politicians may be a lot of things. But cheap ain’t one of ‘em.”
I’ve accepted how much taxes I pay each year. I don’t like it, but I tell myself that money doesn’t bring happiness.
And even if it did, imagine the taxes you’d have to pay on that.
