Thursday March 28th, 2024 9:23PM

Some question that need answers

Some random, perhaps irrelevant and certainly rhetorical questions to start your day:

Why do people have to have allergies? Spring is the most beautiful time of year, yet I seem to sneeze my head off if I spend more than 10 minutes outside. Are you as thankful for the makers of Allegra as I am?

Whose bright idea was it to work five days and have two off? If I’m put in charge of the world, we’ll have a two-day work week and the five-day weekend.

Do you suppose the day will ever return when we can call a company’s toll-free number and actually talk to a real, live, English-speaking human being? I have had to call the cable company a few times lately. The recorded voice tells me that anytime I’d like to speak to a customer service representative, I should say “agent.”

What the voice doesn’t say is that you’ll have to say “agent” about 47 times before the voice will actually let you talk to an agent, and when you get that agent, they speak such broken English that you can barely understand them.

Why do Hershey bars with almonds cost the same as Hershey bars without almonds? I know that may not keep you up at night, but it bothers me.

Why are their locks on the front door of the Waffle House? The place never closes. When do they lock the door?

Speaking of locks, why do so many convenience stores lock their rest rooms? I could reach across the counter and put my hand in the cash drawer, if I were the kind of guy who’d do something like that, but I have to get a key to go to the bathroom.

Why? What’s in there to steal? If you’ve been in some convenience store rest rooms lately, you know there's nothing in there you want to touch, much less steal.

Do people really watch The Weather Channel, or do they flip over long enough to get their local forecast and then go back to watching something else? 

Have you ever bought anything off an infomercial in the middle of the night? Me, either. But someone must be buying spray-on hair and Ginzu knives, or else they’d stop airing those commercials all night.

Why does it some days seem like I’m the only person who knows that you can turn right on red? Or how to use a turn signal? Or that slower traffic should keep right?

Why is it that I can seldom do a load of laundry without losing a sock? Why is it that nearly every time it rains, my umbrella is someplace else?

Who was the first person brave enough to eat an oyster? At that point, no one had invented the special oyster-shucking gloves or the special oyster-shucking knife. How did he even know what to do?

How hungry must he have been to look at a raw oyster and say, “Yeah, that looks good.” I’m going to assume he was really hungry and there were no bacon cheeseburgers to be had.

How did our government become so dysfunctional? When did we decide as a society that we are so much smarter than anyone else so we think everything need to be done exactly the way we think instead of sitting down with people for legitimate conversation about how to make things better?

Just asking.

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