Reality TV: I'm a Viewer...Get Me Out of Here!!

I've re-introduced myself to a dusty, cob-webbed room in my house. It's my library. Actually, that's just meant to be a clever opening. As versed as I am in movies and television, I do spend a fair amount of time reading and re-reading favorite books. One day, perhaps, I'll share my favorites with you. But lately, I've been spending more and more time with the television off.

I'd like to be able to say that this is due to my increased awareness of my familial responsibilities, and due to my spending more and more time with the five year old daughter (what? 6?) that I had at some point in the late nineties. But in reality, the reason IS reality.

The reality craze arguably started with "Survivor," and I was as wrapped up in it as anyone else. My wife and I saw every episode, even attending the "wrap" party held here in Gainesville. I think that Sue's "snake" speech may go down in history as one of television's greatest moments.

But now, the networks have determined, that whether or not these programs succeed, they're cheap, cheap, CHEAP!!!! As a result, you can't surf anymore without wiping out on the umpteenth variation of "Survivor."

Don't get me wrong. There are bright spots to reality television. "The Amazing Race" is still one of my very favorite programs. The History Channel's "The Ship" was an involving stint involving "Survivor"-type everypeople piloting a ship modeled after the Napoleonic wars. But for every "Race," there appears to be two dozen "Joe Millionaire"s and "Last Resort"s.

The nadir of the reality craze was ABC's awful "I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here." I lost my wife, and my daughter her mother for ten days while this dreadful program ran on consecutive nights. My wife would breathlessly relate the tales of derring-do while I interrupted like questions like "who's Cris Judd?" Is Alana Stewart still alive? I thought Kathy Griffin was on this show!

Like any other television trend, reality will one day burn itself out. I can wait. I still have about a dozen Charles Dickens novels I haven't read. And I just found a bunch of my old "Get Smart" novels.

By Bill Wilson