This is a big week for a lot of folks. Friday is “Black Friday,” allegedly the busiest shopping day of the year. I wouldn't know myself. I won’t be there.
Let’s be honest. The name "Black Friday" doesn't give off a positive vibe. The first "Black Friday" was the day the stock market crashed in 1929, marking the beginning of the Great Depression.
In the 1960s, "Black Friday" was the nickname given to the day after Thanksgiving by Philadelphia police because of the huge traffic jams caused by shoppers. See? It isn't a fun thing.
I try to avoid going shopping every day of the year, but especially so on the day after Thanksgiving. So, I won’t be at a mall on “Black Friday.” I don’t care how much they discount that 60-inch 4K smart TV, there’s no way you can get me to a store at 4 in the morning, even if Sandra Bullock was the sales clerk.
Look, I’m not judging. I’m the guy who gets up an ungodly hour to tailgate all day before a college football game. We all have our moments of insanity.
I'm a stereotypical man when it comes to shopping. If, for instance, I decide that I need a blue dress shirt, I get into my car and drive to a store that sells blue dress shirts.
I walk over to the section of the store where they have the blue dress shirts stacked up and I pick out one that's my size. Then pay the clerk for my purchases. Then I walk out of the store, get into my car and go home. The whole process takes about 15 minutes, which, in reality, is about 12 minutes more than I wish it took.
Even better is when I can sit with my laptop in my lap, order my blue dress shirt online and have the nice UPS man bring it to me.
Wandering from store to store in a mall just isn't fun. It's boring and it's stressful. And sometimes, it's a little scary. Have you ever noticed that the women who work at cosmetics counters in the mall always are wearing lab coats? Are they conducting scientific experiments on unsuspecting customers?
Plus, bargain-hunting customers can be crazy. They'll push and they'll shove just to save 20 percent on a big-screen TV or to buy a toaster for $10.
Outside of one store on Black Friday, the crowd was already lined up hours before the 4 a.m. opening.
Just before 4 a.m., a man arrived and saw the long line wrapped around the front of the store. He immediately began to push his way to the front of the line but was met with resistance by the customers who had been there all night.
Several women cursed at him, some customers threw things at him and others pushed and shoved him until he was finally thrown back to the end of the line.
He decided to try a second time to fight his way to the front of the line, but this time, someone punched him in the jaw and, again, he was pushed to the back of the line, where he fell to the ground.
As he stood up, dusted himself off and wiped the blood from his lip, he spoke to the woman at the back of the line.
"If they hit me one more time, I won't open the store."
