Georgia football by more unrelated stats

The off season starvation is real, y'all.

At this point I've just resigned myself to writing goofy articles like this because, frankly, I can't bare to turn on the TV and see the "Top 25 Games of 2016," which just so happens to include a game I've sworn never to speak of again.

In case you aren't a regular reader of this beacon of mediocrity, I've already taken a dive into Georgia football as it relates to a litany of random facts and today we're going back into the well.

Check the old column to find out how the Bulldogs do whenever a Terminator sequel is released, or what the records are with a Republican in the White House.

And once you're done, come back here and we'll tackle some more hard-hitting stats.

1) Georgia averages nearly 10 wins a season when a third basemen wins NL Rookie of the Year.

Our first note on this stat is that the award has only been given out since 1949, and it has only been handed to a third basemen seven times.

The Bulldogs are remarkably consistent in those years, averaging 9.29 wins and 2.86 losses, with a peak of 11 wins (2007, when Ryan Braun won the award with the Brewers) and a low of seven wins (1964, when the Phillies' Dick Allen won it).

Here's what might be most astounding of all: Georgia never won the SEC in such a year, even though their record was well above average.

If you're into seeing all the data first hand, here's what it looks like in handy chart form.

*Fun fact: Rolen was actually committed to play basketball at Georgia before opting for a baseball career.

And yes, I'm aware a few of these guys didn't finish their careers at 3B. Obviously Braun and Pujols are better known as a LF and 1B, respectively.

2) Georgia's SEC Championships tend to happen when no new rides/attractions are added to the Magic Kingdom at Disney World.

The Magic Kingdom opened in 1971, and since then the Bulldogs have won six conference titles. All but one of them (and it's a notable one) came in years when the Magic Kingdom sat pat, adding no new rides or attractions.

The only year that's an outlier? 1980.

That year, in the week between Georgia's 20-16 win over Clemson and its 34-3 thrashing of TCU, one of my favorite rides opened: Big Thunder Mountain Railroad.

Other than that, every other SEC Championship came without a new ride to celebrate: 1976, 1981, 1982, 2002 and 2005.

And in case you're wondering, nothing new is opening in 2017. Fingers crossed.

3) Georgia has a 64-percent chance of beating Auburn if South Gwinnett High School makes the state playoffs.

Why South Gwinnett? It just so happens to be my alma mater. And David Greene's. And Reggie Carter's.

Go Comets.

Anyway, despite having a few stars among the alumni base, South Gwinnett doesn't boast the most fearsome football history, having only made the postseason 14 times since it started playing football in 1957.

But of those 14 years, nine of them saw the Dogs bring home a victory in the Deep South's Oldest Rivalry, most recently in 2016 — when Georgia knocked off the Tigers 13-7 and the Comets advanced to the second round of the state playoffs with a 17-13 win over North Gwinnett.

4) Georgia is more likely to have a losing record when Gwinnett County adds a new city.

Call this another homer-ism, with a nod to my home county. Currently, there are 16 cities and towns located in Gwinnett County, at least in part.

Six of them — Buford, Duluth, Lawrenceville, Loganville, Norcross and Suwanee — pre-date Bulldog Football, which started in 1892, so we'll only be dealing with the 10 that incorporated on or after that.

Of those 10, the Bulldogs had .500 or worse records six times. Here's the breakdown.

And no, as far as I know there aren't any plans of adding a new city anytime soon. In fact, the city of Rest Haven has been trying for years to dissolve itself into Buford.

5) Georgia doesn't get swept by Vanderbilt and South Carolina as long as Robert C. Byrd (D-WV) is in office.

Political junkies might know Byrd as the longest serving U.S. Senator in American history, holding office for 51 years, 5 months, 26 days.

He began his tenure on Jan. 3, 1959 and ended it on June 28, 2010 with his death at the age of 92.

During that time the Bulldogs never lost to the Commodores and Gamecocks in the same season. It hasn't happened since 1958.

And it's a streak that continues to this day.

6) Georgia has a 50-percent chance of having a 1,000 yard rusher whenever a new Star Wars movie is released.

Again, a caveat to start this one: I'm not including Star Wars: The Clone Wars, an animated movie released in 2008 that didn't go to theaters. I'm only counting the big ones released in theaters (Episodes I-VII and Rogue One).

That's eight movies, and in four of their release years, the Dogs produced a 1,000-yard rusher. Here's the list. Apparently I'm in the mood for charts.

Episode VIII: The Last Jedi premieres later this year, in case you're wondering.

7) Bruno Mars falls from No. 1 on the Billboard charts whenever a Georgia tailback rushes for five touchdowns in a game.

This one is oddly specific because the second part of this stat has only happened once — Oct. 23, 2010, when Washaun Easley toted the rock 28 times for 157 yards and a school record five touchdowns against Kentucky.

The Dogs won 44-31, and the next week, Bruno Mars' "Just The Way You Are" fell from the No. 1 spot, supplanted by "Like a G6."

I'll admit I'm not much a fan of either song. Sorry to disappoint.

8) A Georgia kicker makes 10 extra points whenever Pat Sajak is born.

The famous host of Wheel of Fortune was born on Oct. 26, 1946, the same day the Bulldogs were shellacking Furman 70-7.

Kicker George Jernigan connected on a Georgia record 10 PAT's that day, which was obviously related to Sajak's entrance into the world.

Jernigan's school record has only been tied one time since, when Kanon Parkman accomplished the same feat in a 70-6 win over NE Louisiana State in 1994.

9) Georgia hasn't scored 100 points since Annie Oakley gave her last performance.

In our previous edition, we learned that the Bulldogs haven't won a national championship since Eli Manning was born.

In another twist of fate, Georgia hasn't broken triple digits in scoring since famous sharp shooter Annie Oakley gave her final performance in Marion, Illinois on Oct. 4, 1913.

That same day, the Bulldogs demolished Alabama Presbyterian 108-0, still the largest margin of victory (and most points scored) in Georgia history.

Granted, breaking the century mark doesn't happen very often. The most recent team to do it at the FBS (formerly Div. 1) level was Houston, when it delivered a 100-6 beatdown of Tulsa in 1968.

The most recent — regardless of level — to do it was Div. III Rockford University, which beat Trinity Bible College 105-0 in 2003.

But still, we can't rule out this correlation with Annie Oakley.

10) Georgia tends to do well in the Chinese Year of the Horse.

Here's a fun fact, whenever the Chinese Zodiac is in its "Year of the Horse" cycle, the Bulldogs tend to do well, amassing a 76-24-6 record (.745).

It's on a 12 year cycle, so there have been 11 "Years of the Horse" in Georgia Football history, though one of them — 1918 — fell in a year when the Dogs didn't play football.

Here's a few highlights from them:

• 1894: The Bulldogs notched their first winning season, going 5-1, with the program's first win over South Carolina, 40-0.
• 1942: Georgia went 11-1, winning both the Southeastern Conference and National Championship. Frank Sinkwich won the Bulldogs' first Heisman Trophy.
• 1966: The Dogs amassed a 10-1 record, including a 24-9 win over No. 10 SMU in the Cotton Bowl, and finished as co-champions of the Southeastern Conference — the first conference title under Vince Dooley.
• 1978: Georgia finished 9-2-1, including an epic come-from-behind win over arch rival Georgia Tech 29-28, with the Dogs overcoming a 20-0 deficit, scoring with 2:24 to play (plus a two-point conversion) to pull it off.
• 2002: Mark Richt, in his second season, guided Georgia to its first SEC Championship in two decades, beating Arkansas 30-3, then knocking off his former employer, Florida State, in the Sugar Bowl 26-13 to finish with a 13-1 record and a No. 3 national ranking.
• 2014: The Bulldogs put together their most potent rushing attack of all time, averaging more than six yards per carry for the season, and finish with a 10-3 record.

***

Thanks again for joining me on such an important look at Georgia's stats as they relate to these very important events. I hope you'll join me again as we continue to count the days 'til toe meets leather.

Go Dawgs.