George Washington stopped by my office last week on his way to spend the 4th of July at the beach.
Yes, that George Washington. The father of our country. Scoff if you want, but I talk to the Founding Fathers all the time. What of it? Some people claim to see UFOs. Others hold séances to talk the ghost of their great Aunt Gertrude. I talk to the Founding Fathers.
It was a great opportunity to talk with our nation’s first president, particular as we were getting ready to celebrate the good ol’ USA’s 241st birthday.
“Tell me how you plan to celebrate the 4th of July,” Washington said.
“Well, many of us will have picnics and cookouts, or we’ll go out of the lake. There will be lots of food and probably a few adult beverages.”
The president smiled.
“Bourbon, I hope. You know I had a little distillery at my place in Mount Vernon. In fact, at one time, I was the largest distiller in the country.”
“I think I read about that, sir. I’m a big fan of your bourbon.”
“Thank you. So how are things for our country in 2017?” Washington asked.
“Mr. President,” I said, “we’re facing some difficult times in America.”
“Please, call me George. And what are these difficulties we face.”
“Our people are deeply divided over so many issues, from taxes to health care to immigration.”
“Immigration? Are we still letting in the French?”
“Well, sir, I suppose we are. But today, the biggest immigration issues involve Mexico. One of our western states recently started an aggressive program that allows police to arrest and deport people who can’t prove they are in the United States legally.”
“Kentucky?”
“No, sir. Arizona.”
“Air-a-what?”
“Arizona, sir. It’s our 48th state.”
“Amazing. America now has 48 states.”
“Actually, sir, we have 50 states.”
I decided not to pursue the subject of additional states any further, lest Washington find out about California and I’d have to explain Richard Nixon.
“You know, Mr. President, the political discord in America might be a good thing. More citizens seem to be engaged in what’s happening, and they are standing up to voice their displeasure with the job their elected officials are doing.”
“I’m pleased. That’s the way we intended it,” Washington said. “Do you still have political parties, young man?”
“Yes, sir. Mainly, we have Democrats and Republicans. They seem to spend more time promising things than delivering them. Sometimes, it seems that all the political parties do is bash each other.”
“I was afraid this would happen,” he said. “You know, I never joined a political party. In fact, when I was president, I tried to warn all those guys that one day politicians would be more concerned about protecting their political party than helping the country. I can’t wait to get back and tell Adams and Jefferson I was right. They’ll be rightly embarrassed.”
Washington stood up to leave.
“Thank you for your time, young man. I must go if I’m going to get to the Holiday Inn before dark.”
“It was my pleasure, sir.”
“It sounds as though the republic is facing some daunting challenges. Yet I believe the foundation we laid for you will get you through the tough times. We never intended this to be pretty. Always remember Ben Franklin’s words.”
“Which words are those, sir.”
“Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.”
