It’s always fun to think about what I’d do if I were lucky enough to win one of those multimillion dollar lottery jackpots.
I’d pay off bills. I’d buy a nice house on the lake and another not too far from Sanford Stadium. I’d travel.
But lately, I’ve been thinking of something much more practical. I’d hire someone to do my laundry.
That’s because doing laundry is my least favorite of all the household chores. I’d rather clean the toilet that wash clothes.
I’ve never been a fan of laundry. But I really began to hate it in the last few weeks. When I was sick last month with bronchitis, I slept a lot and many chores around the house went undone. In fact, I didn’t do laundry until it was absolutely necessary – when I had run out of clean underdrawers.
To be brutally honest, I briefly considered just throwing out the dirty underdrawers and buying new ones. That seems a little extreme, and I eventually threw some clothes in the washer.
But it’s not just because I was sick. The truth is I don’t like any aspect of doing laundry.
I hate buying laundry detergent. Most detergents are scented. I don’t want my laundry to smell like a summer breeze or a tropical sunset. Even bleach is scented these days, which presents another dilemma. What happens if the scent of my mountain mornings Tide clashes with the scent of my tropical blossoms Clorox?
I don’t want my clothes to smell like anything. Isn’t that why I washing them in the first place? But I’ve yet to find a “clean laundry” scented detergent.
When I was in college, I didn’t have my own washer and dryer. That meant saving my quarters and using the dorm’s laundry room. Unfortunately, if I came back to the laundry room more than 60 seconds after my clothes finishing washing or drying, a friendly fellow student had removed my clothes and piled them on a nearby table.
More times than not, your nice clean clothes were no longer nice and clean, and then I had to repeat the process.
When I got my first washer and dryer, I felt like such a grown up. No longer did I have to save my quarters and plan a trip to the laundry room. No longer did I have to worry about my clean clothes being piled up on a dirty table.
I could throw a load of clothes into the washer and go about my business. But even this presented problems. I became very good at putting clothes in the washer – and forgetting about them for hours. And I can’t begin to tell you the number of times I’ve open the dryer to put this week’s laundry in only to find last week’s laundry still there.
I generally only do laundry once a week. I hear folks with children laughing at me. Your washing machines seldom get a break. I don’t know how you do it. I’d go stark raving mad if I had to do laundry every day.
I’ve tried doing laundry every two weeks, but the sheer amount of clothes that accumulates over two weeks overwhelmed me.
I still haven’t fully given up on the idea of just throwing out the dirty clothes and buying all-new clothes, but that will get expensive.
I guess the only answer is to win the lottery.
