New Lineup for CSI ... Oops ... I Mean CBS

If it ain't broke, don't fix it, figures Les Moonves. That's why there are only five new series on CBS' fall slate, and just two returning shows are in new time slots, and that's only if you count "The Amazing Race," simply the best reality show on television, getting a fall time slot, albeit on Saturday night. Don't fret fans. I'm talking about "Amazing Race 6." "5" is still slated to kick off in July.

"Yes Dear" won a last minute reprieve with a thirteen episode order, and will be held until midseason. "Still Standing" will lead off Monday nights in the fall, making way for Jason Alexander's "Listen Up," a sitcom loosely based on the life of ESPN sportscaster Tony Kornheiser.

On Tuesdays, "Clubhouse" replaces "The Guardian." The drama is about a young boy who gets a job as a batboy for a major league baseball team. Christopher Lloyd and Dean Cain co-star with newcomer Jeremy Sumpter.

All eyes will be on "Center of the Universe" on Wednesday nights. How can a sitcom starring John Goodman fail? Two words. "Normal, Ohio." Well this time, the big guy stars in a fairly traditional family comedy, except that his supporting cast includes Emmy winners Jean Smart, Ed Asner and Olympia Dukakis. Sounds like "Everybody Loves Dan."

After "Center," CBS smells blood in the water as Jerry Orbach departs from the venerable (and perhaps vulnerable) "Law & Order," so many eyebrows are raised as they schedule the new "CSI: NY" on Wednesdays, rather than moving David Caruso's "CSI: Miami." In case you missed the spinoff episode, the new cast is headlined by Gary Sinise and Melina Kanakeredes.

And what do you do with two stars who bombed the previous season with their own shows? Team 'em up, of course. That's why you'll find Rob Lowe and Joe Pantoliano starring in "dr. vegas," in small letters probably so that k.d. lang will agree to guest star. Ironically, "vegas" will air in Pantoliono's old "Handler" time slot. Better luck this time.

After "Amazing Race" on Saturday nights, the network has opted to actually, arrogantly, schedule an hour of rotating reruns, under the umbrella of "Crimetime Saturday." Look for all three permutations of "CSI," along with "Cold Case," "JAG," "Navy CIS," and "Without a Trace," the last of which aptly describes the fate of "The District," the one show you will NOT find in that timeslot.

In addition to the Craig T. Nelson crime drama and "The Guardian," the other ousted programs include "Becker" (again), "The Brotherhood of Poland, N.H.", "Century City," "Hack," "The Handler," "Star Search," and "The Stones."

Reunion specials are planned next season for the casts of "Dallas" and "One Day at a Time," both of which will simply be cast reunions, not new "episodes" a la "Dick van Dyke." The "Dallas" cast will reassemble at the real Southfork, chow down some barbecue, and watch Larry Hagman's home movies. Really. Who knows? Maybe J.R. will get shot again...