Sorry, Sparkle, it's not that kind of boneyard

I can’t help but notice the standard “Please Clean Up After Your Pets” signs every time I visit a cemetery. I’m a little concerned that people are casually strolling through a graveyard and yet for some reason decide to allow their beasts to carelessly create business deals with the dead - the dead who will be angry if the walker doesn’t fulfill their end of Fido’s deal.

 

I avoid bringing the pets with me to cemeteries for a different reason, though. I usually go for a specific reason, and whether it be aesthetic, a visitation, or simply because I want some serenity, I’d rather not keep tabs on a beast while I’m trying to do any of those things. Imagine having your dog on a leash, actively trying to make friends at each resident’s front door, while struggling to carry both your handbag and some flowers when your doggo starts to pull and bark.

 

The most immediate concern is that I might face plant. What if you hit a tombstone and bust up your face? Let’s not. My next worry depends on which dog I have with me, and whether you believe that dogs in particular are extra sensitive to ghosts, spirits and souls. For example, my dog, Smidge, barks because she is afraid, and she can be challenging to calm down. What if she’s barking at a ghost, or worse, being rude and barking incessantly at a ghost? What if the ghost just wants to pet her and she snarls, not knowing that ghost-pets are just like a weird, cold tingle? As for one of our family dogs, Zoe, she barks because she wants to be held and cuddled. How do I explain to this dog, who is essentially a living throw pillow, that her newest friend cannot hold her, only ghost-pet her, and she may not even feel it because her hair is so big and thick?

 

Yes, my actual concern for bringing a dog to a cemetery is that my dogs might be unable to communicate with spirits in a polite or concise manor. 

 

Except for our family dog, Sparkle. I’m not worried about Sparkle. Her bark is truly worse than her bite, its reminiscent of a rooster’s crow and could, well, wake the dead. The good news is, she usually only crows when she’s scrambling towards the door following the bell.

 

No, Sparkle is an old soul. She loves the elderly, probably because they operate on her wavelength: they both prefer to move at a slower, calmer pace, they both prefer to supplement light daily meals with delectable treats, and they both have found their past-time passion. My grandfather enjoyed peach cobbler and model airplanes, while Sparkle enjoys a Mother Hubbard mini-bone and any game with a tennis ball.

 

Not only Sparkle would do very well meeting spirits, but she’s also very nimble and could galavant through the granite with ease. Other dogs may not be agility masters, stumbling over flat markers and mementos, or even colliding with tall headstones. Knowing Smidge and Zoe, they’d most likely get their leashes wrapped around an obelisk.

 

I think the most obvious reason people bring their pets to cemeteries is for comfort. Dogs already make a daily walk around the neighborhood better, why couldn't they do the same in a graveyard? But, while I am comfortable in cemeteries, the thought of a loud bark rippling through the quiet hills and reverberating off the stones is unsettling. 

 

Maybe one day Smidge will be so well-trained I can fully trust her while I am in a cemetery. It *is* always nice to have the companionship. But for now I can rely on Sparkle. I can already hear her steady panting, already see her little pink tongue melting out of her smiling mouth, and already hear her scamper rustling the grass as we navigate the plots. I can picture her looking up at me, almost through me, and lifting a single paw off the ground as she sends her regards to the past generations I cannot see.