As I was about to put water in the coffeepot to make coffee Sunday morning, I noticed something in the sink was moving.
It was a spider.
Now I know what you are saying. “Mitch, it’s just a little spider. Quit being a baby.”
But it wasn’t a little spider. It was a large, scary spider, roughly the size of a small Buick.
I’ve made no secret of my fear of spiders. I believe everyone is entitled to an irrational fear or two, and this is one of mine. I just don’t like them. I know that spiders are good for controlling mosquitoes and other bugs. And I’ve pretty much made a deal with the spiders. Stay outside and I’ll leave you alone. Come in my house and it’s at your own risk.
I don’t like snakes much, either. People tell me I shouldn’t be afraid of snakes because most snakes and nonpoisonous and are actually good for the environment.
“Look at the shape of their head to see if they are poisonous,” they tell me.
Sorry, but if I see a snake, I ain’t hanging around to check out his head shape.
I hate spiders more than snakes. I’ve never had a snake inside the house, but I find spiders inside more times that I like.
Spiders are creepy looking and they spin creepy-looking webs. They’re quiet and unpredictable. They’re sneaky and they show up where you least expect them – like the sink on a Sunday morning. They’re always used as objects of evil in horror movies.
A few years ago, I had what I thought was the flu. I went to the doctor, and after he examined a red spot on my hand, he told me I had been bitten by a spider.
“Wouldn’t I remember being bitten by a spider?” I asked.
“Probably not,” he responded. “It probably happened while you were asleep.”
Great, I thought. I’m never going to sleep again.
In the movie “Spiderman” with Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst, Peter Parker, played by Maguire, is bitten by a radioactive spider and is suddenly able to sling webs and fight crime.
It’s just as well I didn’t get web-slinging abilities from the bite. After he is bitten, Peter Parker spends all of his time battling the bad guys, and frankly, I don’t have that kind of time.
It would have been nice, however, to have ended up with Kirsten Dunst as a girlfriend.
The other reason I don’t like spiders is their webs. Anytime I walk through a spider web, I feel like it is still on me. No matter how much I try to brush it off, it feels like the web is still on me. And if the web is still on me, there’s a chance the spider could be on me, too.
Now I’m smart enough to understand that most spiders are harmless and if there’s a spider on me, it’s probably not going to hurt me. But what if it were a black widow spider? I might be dead before the ambulance even gets to my house.
Are you still wondering about the spider in my sink on Sunday morning? I took care of it.
I turned on the hot water and flushed him into the garbage disposal. Then I turned the disposal on.
I told you he came into my house at his own risk.
http://accesswdun.com/article/2016/11/474514/spiders-dont-belong-in-the-kitchen