A Dose of Their Own Medicine is Needed

Looking back, my childhood is one that I recall with fond memories for the most part. I was a typical kid who spent his days doing typical kid things. Many of the activities available to today's kids were not around back then, but it seems that we stayed pretty busy. But, despite the mostly care free and uncomplicated days that we had, we were exposed to some of the issues that seem to be prevalent to today's kids. While we were exposed to similar issues, I think that our reactions and the reactions of our parents and the community were much different than what we see today.<br /> <br /> I will admit that when I first started hearing about the "bullying" issue that is in the forefront at this time, I was somewhat hesitant to take it as serious as some of the people that were pushing it in the media. As I said, we didn't have an X-Box or Wii, but we certainly had bullies. Kids who take advantage of other kids either mentally or physically are not a new phenomenon. Bullies are not a product of inappropriate video game exposure or too many R-rated movies, but are simply a part of life. They get a great amount of attention when they are a child who bullies another child, but bullies can be found in all walks of life. Bullying is a behavior that can be found in all demographic groups and a bully can be fourteen or forty. Bullying is a behavior that is found in people who may have been bullied themselves or based on their exposure to this demeanor by someone else.<br /> <br /> I remember the bullies at my school to the point that, even after all of these years, I can still remember their first and last names and exactly what they looked like; although their images have never aged. They still have the faces of a twelve or thirteen year old that I made every effort to avoid. They were just people that you didn't mess with and the greater the distance between you and the bully, the better your chances were. As a gangly thirteen year old, I was convinced that I did not stand a chance of coming out victorious against a guy who was already displaying a five o'clock shadow in the sixth grade. This strategy worked for me, but I remember other kids who were not as fortunate. Bullies were, and are, often very cruel to those who they saw as vulnerable. As an adult, I now realize why none of these bullies ever came up against each other, but only bullied those who were physically inferior to them. As an adult, I now realize that their bully tendencies were traits that we actually allowed them to exhibit based on our responses.<br /> <br /> The way that an adult will respond to a bully and the way that a child will respond are totally different. The level of bullying has wrenched up a notch to include aspects that we never knew. Things such as cyber bullying, bullying with the intent of causing character and reputation defamation, and the normal "old school" stuff is causing havoc among some of our kids. We have responded by creating some legislative acts that deal with bullies and our schools have made the punishment more severe than ever before. But, the bullies continue to thrive. And, some of the bullies are thriving to the point that their victims, seeing no other way to stop the behavior, have resorted to desperate acts that includes taking their own lives. This is unbelievable. Many kids have had to completely withdraw from their schools and start all over somewhere else because of their reputations being completely ruined based on no actions of their own. And, all the while, the bullies who caused the havoc continue the normal routines without reprisal. They do this under the veil of "just having fun," or "classroom pranks," or that the victim had "too much drama" and their reaction to the abuse was actually an overreactio...Right!<br /> <br /> I said earlier that I was slow to get on the "anti-bully bandwagon." I now realize that my hesitation was based on a level of ignorance to just how severe a problem that this has become. Today's bullies are not the school yard bullies that we knew as children. Our old bullies pale in comparison to today's group who are conniving, calculated, and strategic predators who have an end result in mind to totally destroy the targets of their aggression. These bullies can cause more damage than the bullies of my time without ever throwing a punch. Their undeterred behavior has started to leave a trail of victims who have been so traumatized that they actually believe taking their own life is a better fate than what their life has become. Every story that I read of another child committing suicide based on this activity just makes me sick. Who knows how many kids are being terrorized every day that we don't know about. We only know about the kids who just couldn't take it any more.<br /> <br /> Maybe the tactics of the bully have changed over the years. But, I suspect that the way in which we should handle bullies has probably not. Back then the best way to stop a bully was to give him or her a dose of their own medicine. And, back then many a bully developed a new attitude based on an unfortunate encounter behind a woodshed where the only pain in the area belonged to the bully. Perhaps we can't resort to that behavior, but we can utilize those tools that we have available and punish them to the highest degree available. The laws that have been written to specifically focus on issues dealing with bullying should be enforced to the utmost letter of the law. Allowing a free pass and second and third chances to these abusers, based on their idea of "fun," is a total lack of respect to those kids who start each day in total fear of what their school day will bring. It's funny how a 10 by 10 jail cell can also cause new attitudes to blossom. It's the woodshed all over again.<br /> <br /> Maybe it is true that no matter how much things may change, some things remain the same. Bully for that!

http://accesswdun.com/article/2010/10/233059