*Talk about values. Passing along a strong sense of values is one of the fundamental tasks of being a parent. Ethics don't develop in a vacuum. No matter how uncomfortable it may be, parents need to talk to their children about difficult social issues. Timing is important. Teenagers are likely to be more receptive if, instead of sitting them down and saying We need to have a talk, you bring up these issues casually. For example a good time for these discussions is while you are driving with your teen in the car. Not only do you have a captive audience, you also avoid the need for eye contact. This can help teens feel more comfortable. Another part of transmitting values is to let teens know that they can turn to you as a resource if they ever need help. Example: If you're ever at a party and something happens that you're uncomfortable with call us and we'll come pick you up-no questions asked.
*Focus on what is important. Most teens feel compelled to try out different roles. This can be irritating and bewildering to parents. But as painful as it may be to watch, it's one way that teens learn to function on their own without having to consult their parents about every decision. Rule of thumb: Don't make a fuss about issues that are reversible or don't directly threaten your child's or another person's safety. These issues include unwashed hair, a messy room, torn jeans, etc. Save your thunder for more important concerns. Safety is a non-negotiable issue. Safety rules need to be stated clearly and enforce consistently. Examples: Drinking is not acceptable. If you have a party here, no beer or hard liquor is allowed
http://accesswdun.com/article/2003/9/173018