I assure you, I was the only one out there. In those days it was an unusual sight to see someone running down the street. The first thought one had was not about exercise or health, but to wonder if a bank had been robbed.
Early one morning in the '60's I was out running just as an elderly lady got to the end of her driveway to pick up the newspaper. She was startled. I waved and spoke. Then as I passed her, she asked me a question I had never considered before.
She stared at me and asked, "Where are you running?" I slowed to think. Where was I running? The truth was I had begun at my house and after running a big loop, I would end there.
Where was I running? I finally answered, "Nowhere, really." Yes, I felt really stupid. Couldn't I have done better than that? Who knows what she thought of that Greer boy from then on.
That moment became a metaphor for me. Like so many of us, I am often in motion. My life is busy . . . sometimes too busy. I recall her question, "Where are you running." My private fear is the answer too often could be "Nowhere, really." The anxiety of it tends to keep me focused.
I suppose we each need a periodic check to see if all the commotion we call our lives is worth the precious time and energy given to it. Where are we running? When we get too busy, are we running to something or away from something?
When we run away we tend to be anxious or afraid. At times our busy-ness is to distract us from some feelings or issues we had rather not face. Perhaps it is an old guilt or grief or resentment. If we don't muster the courage to address it, our run could turn into a marathon.
The fear may also spring from a life-long poor self-image -- one from which we have been trying to run for years. If only we could be successful enough or good enough or do enough or accomplish enough . . . then we would prove ourselves worthy. And so we push and push -- and we run and run. Of course, it never is enough, and it never works. We can't prove our worthiness. Self-acceptance has to come by another route.
Then there are the times we are indeed running to something. There is a goal out there. It's a positive direction to which we may have committed ourselves. But is it worthwhile? Is it a goal worthy of the investment of so much of ourselves?
I have a small statue of a bear in my office. It's not really noticeable to anyone but myself. My little bear serves as a reminder. When I notice it I remember a favorite saying, "Don't go chasing rabbits when you're hunting bear."
I need the reminder. Too often I go down rabbit trails, exerting energy and giving time to tasks that are not worth the investment -- and leave the important matters, the bears, untouched and unnoticed. A friend recently told me he meant to get to a long-overdue task but "life kept getting in the way." We know the feeling. Hopefully, we can rearrange things so life, first and foremost, involves what really matters.
Ron Greer is a pastoral counselor with the pastoral counseling service at Peachtree United Methodist Church in Atlanta. He can be reached at [email protected].
http://accesswdun.com/article/2002/9/189780