We are thirty years out from the so-called sexual revolution and while we are bombarded on all sides with sexual images and talk of sexual issues, we are no better off and it could be argued that sex education is worse that it was 30 years ago. For those of us who are parents, the most important thing we do is preparing our children for adulthood. A very important part of that is sex education. Anyone can teach the biology and school is a fine place for that part of it. The values, however, must be taught at home. Parents cannot abdicate that to anyone else. They may ask for help from teachers, ministers, counselors and friends, but the message must come from parents. The Left will say, "what about children who have different home situations?" That is an excuse to institutionalize parenting with increasing government intervention. Parenting may occur with a mother and a father, a single parent or any other adult that is the parent of the child.
There have always been "different" kinds of families. The myth of the "perfect" family is just that. We all have exceptions in our families. What makes a great parent is overcoming your own past and become an adult that puts your child first. None of us are perfect, but that does not mean we cannot be successful parents. A big part of that success is being successful sex educators of our children. Boomer parents begin planning what pre-school to attend, what team to play on, what art class to join. We plan every aspect of their lives but we are still afraid to share our values about sex. Anyone can know what the biology is. Only a parent can teach the values that make it the gift that God intended to be.
Many parents think because they made mistakes along the way with their sexual choices that they do not have the moral authority to expect the highest standards of sexual conduct from their children. Herein lies the foundation of the matter. Because you may not have been perfect is exactly why you must have high standards for your children. The best parents help their children excel in the things they do well and guide them away from the mistakes they may have made in their own lives. If you were a part of the sexual revolution, that is exactly the reason you must explain why the revolution failed.
The answer, the educators have told us, is to teach sex in all its varieties in school. So there are permission slips for "good touch, bad touch," and for AIDS awareness. On a personal note, I have signed some of those and I left some unsigned, with my children going to the library instead. In every case, I reviewed the materials and made the decision based on our family's value system. One of my good friends, who is very liberal politically, confided in me that she is very concerned that the only message children get from school is regarding the deviant side of sexual relationships. It is very simple. Think about what you will say and talk with your children. Answer the questions as they ask them with information that is appropriate for their age. Even embarrass them, but do not let the opportunities pass you by. Take responsibility for the sexual education of your child just as you would plan their athletic endeavors.
Let them know that there are three things that will ensure that they will do "as well as their parents did." William Raspberry wrote a column on this a number of years ago on these three things and I have preached them to my children and every teen I have influence over ever since. First, stay in school, the farther along you get the better off you are. Put off having sex until marriage and do not have children before you are at least 20 and have finished school. Encourage your children to plan and dream and they can achieve these minimal standards. Express your religious standards as far as sexual practices go and model them. If you are married, be faithful. If you are a single parent, do not bring boyfriends or girlfriends around your children.
It is not the place of Congress to legislate sex education as the liberal think tanks would want you to believe. It is not a liberal or conservative issue, it is a family issue that should be handled within the family structure. Teachers should teach the biology and parents should teach the values. People should be available to consult with the community of teachers, counselors, ministers and other kinds of mentors but the ultimate responsibility is with the family. The family reaps the benefits and pays the consequences of failed policies on this matter and they should have the final say.
Martha Zoller is the host of WDUN Newstalk 550's The Martha Zoller Show in metro Atlanta. She also appears around the country on various issues of interest regionally and nationally. She lives in Gainesville with her husband and children.
http://accesswdun.com/article/2002/6/193925