I’ve made no secret of the fact that I don’t like spiders, but even I think a California man went too far when he used a blow torch to kill a black widow spider in his parents’ house.
According to a story I read, the man was house-sitting when he discovered the black widow. Instead of whacking the spider with a shoe, which is a tried-and-true remedy for spiders, he decided to fire up the blow torch. He made it out of the house safely, but the second floor and attic were destroyed.
The article didn’t mention the condition of the spider, but it wouldn’t surprise me to learn that a guy who thought he could kill a spider with a blow torch without also setting the house on fire probably failed to fill the spider.
I certainly understand the man’s desire to kill the spider. I don’t like them. In fact, I’ll admit that I’m a little afraid of them. I realize this is an irrational fear, but I believe in my heart that we’re all entitled to an irrational fear or two, and this one is mine.
Spiders are creepy looking and they spin creepy-looking webs. They’re quiet and unpredictable. They’re sneaky and they show up where you least expect them. They’re always used as objects of evil in horror movies.
I think the reason I never liked “Charlotte’s Web” as a child was that I never could accept the idea of a spider as a good character.
I have friends who scold me for this. “Spiders are good,” they say. “They eat other insects that annoy us,” they say. OK, I’m all for getting rid of insects that annoy me. So what’s coming to eat the spiders?
I’ll admit that spiders do some good, and I’m not suggesting that we rid the planet of the little boogers. All I ask is that they stay out of my living area. Don’t come into my house. Don’t come onto my deck, where I like to sit on warm evenings and enjoy an adult beverage. And under no circumstances build a web across the area of my front door. Other than those areas, spiders can have the rest of the planet.
I hate walking through a spider web almost as much as I hate seeing an actual spider. Lately, I can’t walk out my front door without walking through a spider web.
Anytime I walk through a spider web, I feel like it is still on me. No matter how much I try to brush it off, it feels like the web is still on me. And if the web is still on me, there’s a chance the spider could be on me, too.
Now I know most spiders are harmless and if there’s a spider on me, it’s probably not going to hurt me. But what if it were a black widow spider? I might be dead before the ambulance even gets to my house.
Whenever I see a spider in the house, I whack it with a shoe. The worst thing that can happen when I whack a spider with a shoe is that it leaves a mark on the wall, but a mark can be cleaned a whole lot easier than the ashen remain of a burned-down house.
So to the man in California, here’s some free advice: When your parents’ house is rebuilt, keep a shoe, not a blow torch, handy.
